妮妮

妮妮今天早上六点钟离开了我们。上星期六带他去打rabies,有个粗鲁的男人狠命的把妮妮的腿拽出来，妮妮在笼子里被吓得不断挣扎。带他回来后，就发现他的后脚趾被弄伤了。给他消了毒上了药。第二天发现他一直蔫蔫地在他最喜欢的摇椅上睡觉。我们还以为是因为他的腿的原因他不愿意走动。然后一直是趴着睡觉，换了几个地方。昨天晚上半夜起来给宝宝泵奶，发现妮妮趴在楼下。他一直没吃没喝，试图喂了喂，但还是不吃。。看他一瘸一拐地上了楼爬在我们卧室门口。我又给他的腿上了药，安慰了他一会就去睡觉了。

今天早上，我妈敲我们的门,告诉我们妮妮死了。我趁着睡意还盼望着这不是真的，可看到妮妮僵硬的身体，便知这已是事实..我觉得非常内疚，是不是我忽视了妮妮..因为最近新生的宝宝才三个星期，还有个需求比较多的狗狗要照顾。

之后叫兽医作了检查，被告知肯定不是脚伤的原因，也不是对疫苗过敏。妮妮的心脏有问题，有可能是先天的，也有可能是后天慢慢形成的。兽医的猜测是本来心脏有问题，加上打疫苗时的stress导致的..

可怜的妮妮，他一直都非常的乖，从来不惹麻烦。我再后悔没早点带妮妮去兽医那里都没用了,屋子里只剩下回忆...

I am really sorry, Nini. We all miss you. Wish you rest peacefully in heaven.

Mom

Surprise Party

I have started using the gifts I got from the baby shower. I used to think that picking gift is waste of time. The gift card should be the most practical way. In the baby shower, I also received a gift card with a long list of initials of contributors. I have used up the gift card, and also forgotten the initials. In comparison, I can remember every face whenever I see the gift under the baby crib. From now on, I decided that I will start to picking gift instead of buying gift card. 

But the warmest memory is the suprise party itself. Even though I knew it was a party for me 5 minutes before I went into the conference room ( It was too obvious that no one in the building anymore), I was filled up with happiness by seeing a full room of people. Thank you, MRS, JC and JY. 

Life is full of memories. Creating happy memories is to build a sweet life. 

The most beautiful sound

Every mom has unique birth story about their baby boy or girl. I have been waiting to have my own story "forever". At least I thought it was forever. Every second seems like a hour. My doctor kept telling me that my baby will be too big to be natually born.  But I don't want to believe him. I couldn't count how many times I have preyed that "please let me in labor now, please let me give a natural birth to her". 

I was thrilled that I had contractions before the schedule induction date, and later I wanted to cry when I lied in operation room waiting for C-section. Until I heard the first baby cry. Well, I still wanted to cry, but the emotion was totally flipped. Suddenly I was relieved, and feeling proud. My husband was busy in taking pictures and showing me the pictures. I coundn't care anymore. 

I have heard the most beautiful sound in this world. 

Following sound is also beautiful, but not most beautiful, :)

Pink

Sunday afternoon, bright and sunny, like my mood. I have accumulated a lot of stuff for my expecting baby girl. Pink crib bedding, pink baby clothes, pink receiving blankets. Everything is in pink. I remember my friend's 3 years old daughter Emily's soft sweet voice :" I like pink and hello kitty".  Everytime I go shopping with Emily, eventhough I know what her answer will be, I still ask :"Which one do you like?". She will reply in the answer I never get bored with :"The pink one". But I couldn't enjoy the happiness of the pink purchase for her, at least not much. Her mom has filled her room with Emily's choices.  Since then, I started to picture my daughtor's wardrobe and room.... 

Now, touching the pink crib sheet, it feels so real. Folding tiny vests, I think I can see my girl's round smiling face. How exciting. Maybe I am too excited.. I start to lose my patience. How come there is still a month? I want to be able to spoil her right this moment!